What should an admission essay look like

This is crucial. It can be easy to wax poetic on a topic and, in the process, take on too much. This emphasis gives the reader the opportunity to learn who the writer is on his terms and makes it a truly compelling application essay. The winter of my seventh grade year, my alcoholic mother entered a psychiatric unit for an attempted suicide.

Mom survived, but I would never forget visiting her at the ward or the complete confusion I felt about her attempt to end her life. Today I realize that this experience greatly influenced my professional ambition as well as my personal identity. While early on my professional ambitions were aimed towards the mental health field, later experiences have redirected me towards a career in academia.

I come from a small, economically depressed town in Northern Wisconson. Many people in this former mining town do not graduate high school and for them college is an idealistic concept, not a reality. Neither of my parents attended college. Feelings of being trapped in a stagnant environment permeated my mind, and yet I knew I had to graduate high school; I had to get out.

Although most of my friends and family did not understand my ambitions, I knew I wanted to make a difference and used their doubt as motivation to press through.

Four days after I graduated high school, I joined the U. The 4 years I spent in the Army cultivated a deep-seated passion for serving society. While in the Army, I had the great honor to serve with several men and women who, like me, fought to make a difference in the world. During my tour of duty, I witnessed several shipmates suffer from various mental aliments.

Driven by a commitment to serve and a desire to understand the foundations of psychological illness, I decided to return to school to study psychology.

In order to pay for school and continue being active in the community, I enlisted in the Texas Army National Guard as a Medic. Due to the increased deployment schedule and demands placed on all branches of the military after September 11, my attendance in school has necessarily come second to my commitment to the military. There are various semesters where, due to this demand, I attended school less than full time. Despite taking a long time and the difficulty in carving separate time for school with such occupational requirements, I remained persistent aiming towards attending school as my schedule would allow.

My military commitment ends this July and will no longer complicate my academic pursuits. In college, as I became more politically engaged, my interest began to gravitate more towards political science.

The interest in serving and understanding people has never changed, yet I realized I could make a greater difference doing something for which I have a deeper passion, political science. Pursuing dual degrees in both Psychology and Political Science, I was provided an opportunity to complete a thesis in Psychology with Dr. As an undergraduate, I was privileged to gain extensive research experience working in a research lab with Dr.

During the three years I worked in her lab, I aided in designing a study, writing an Institutional Review Board IRB application, running participants through both pilot and regular studies, coding data, and analyzing said data, with these experiences culminating in my honors thesis. Participating in such a large study from start to finish has validated my interest in academic research as a profession.

This fall I will embark on writing an additional honors thesis in political science. While the precise topic of my thesis is undecided, I am particularly interested in Mexico and its development towards a more democratic government.

Minoring in Spanish, I have read various pieces of literature from Mexico and have come to respect Mexico and Latin American culture and society. I look forward to conducting this research as it will have a more qualitative tilt than my thesis in psychology, therefore granting an additional understanding of research methodology. My present decision to switch from social psychology to political science is further related to a study abroad course sponsored by the European Union with Dr.

Professor Mitchell obtained a grant to take a class of students to Belgium in order to study the EU. This course revealed a direct correlation between what I had studied in the classroom with the real world. After spending several weeks studying the EU, its history and present movement towards integration, the class flew to Brussels where we met with officials and proceeded to learn firsthand how the EU functioned.

My interest in attending the University of Rochester in particular, relates to my first semester at OU and the opportunity to take an introductory course in statistics with the now retired Dr. Larry Miller. Through the combination of a genuine appreciation and knack for statistics and with his encouragement, I proceeded to take his advanced statistics class as well as the first graduate level statistics course at OU.

I continued my statistical training by completing the second graduate statistics course on model comparisons with Dr. Roger Johnson, a Professor in the Psychology Department. The model comparison course was not only the most challenging course I have taken as an undergraduate, but the most important.

As the sole undergraduate in the course and only college algebra under my belt, I felt quite intimidated. Yet, the rigors of the class compelled me to expand my thinking and learn to overcome any insecurities and deficits in my education. Top Outstanding Psychology Student award in statistics. This award is given to the top undergraduate student with a demonstrated history of success in statistics.

Don't have an Account? Register Now! How can I reassure the admissions board that I will succeed in their school? How will I show that I am determined and ambitious; that I will not get poor grades or drop out? How can I contribute positively to the educational experience of other students? How might I bring honor and prestige to the university?

What are my long-term goals? Might I win an award someday, or start a business, or improve a scientific process? Your answer to these questions will help you frame the content of your essay.

Have I worked at an interesting or relevant job? Do I belong to any clubs or organizations? Have I demonstrated leadership or teamwork? Have I demonstrated compassion or community-responsibility? Maybe you are excellent at study groups or other forms of collaborative work.

Maybe you will join a student organization or athletic team. Maybe you will write for a student newsletter or blog. Whatever you feel you can contribute, add that to your list of essay goals. Is there a specific instance or example that shows this? Can I add imagery colors, shapes to make it more interesting? Write primarily in complex sentences, rather than simple or compound sentences; Include figurative language such as a metaphor, a simile, personification; and Include a trope or scheme, such as chiasmus, oxymoron or anaphora.

Grammar: did you write in complete sentences? Do all your subjects and verbs agree? Diction: are all the words used properly for an American audience? Teach or Tutor for Us. College Readiness. All Rights Reserved. The Princeton Review is not affiliated with Princeton University.

Recently viewed. Find Your Dream School. By submitting my email address. I certify that I am 13 years of age or older, agree to recieve marketing email messages from The Princeton Review, and agree to Terms of Use. Telling Your Story to Colleges So what does set you apart? Score a SAT. SAT Prep Courses. ACT Prep Courses. Once you've finished your first draft, you may think it's flawless; however, it's important to get a second opinion. You could ask a parent or teacher to look it over.

While their feedback may bruise your ego a bit, ideally their suggestions will help improve your essay. Proofreading is also crucial. According to Tingley, "not checking for grammatical errors" is one of the biggest mistakes college applicants can make.

Similarly, Sonnenberg cites carelessness and sloppiness as common pitfalls. Prior to launching KS College Success , Sonnenberg worked as an application reader at Princeton, where she read thousands of applications each year.

She brings that experience, as well as her background of teaching English, to her work with students. Sonnenberg believes in the transformative power of a college education, which is why she loves helping students navigate the application process.

Lauren Tingley spent 10 years working as a college admissions advisor for the University of California, Davis' College Opportunity Programs. In this role, Tingley helped high school students write their college application essays. She has received staff training on writing admissions essays from the University of California, Stanford University, and the Common App.

Currently, Tingley is a working teacher-mom of two who shares her tips for fun family activities, homemaking, and parenting on Simply Well Balanced , a site geared toward families looking to create more balance in their homes.

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